i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
