I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
