found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You are a genius and a whore.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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