i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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