I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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