Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize