$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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