Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
