matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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