Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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