Whoa Z and x make the same sound
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
