found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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