Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
