i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize