We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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