I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
