i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
