Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
