Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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