You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
