Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
