We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
