You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
