so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
