He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I didn't notice because vodka
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I could fuck to npr.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
