You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
