Welp...herpes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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