Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
