Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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