me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
