my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
