be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize