The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
