So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
