I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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