i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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