Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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