I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you made out with another girl for some wings
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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