I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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