I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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