Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize