You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
