There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
