I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
