Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
