Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
