Dual....:-)
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
