your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
