Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
