the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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