But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
