I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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