Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
