We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
