She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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