you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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