My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
