...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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