Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
