From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We need to get me chipped asap
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
