CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
