I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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