jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think my mom watched the whole time
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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