My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
