i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
honey bunches of taint.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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