If i come over, it means nothing
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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