Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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