Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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