It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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