Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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